The bitter truths: How should you talk about money in a relationship?



“Money may not buy love, but fighting about it will bankrupt your relationship”


Psychologists say that people in relationships discuss various things with each other. They talk about sex, food, clothes, movies, music, art, politics, and so on. But most of them avoid talking about money since it’s a very sensitive subject.

Statistics reveal that financial issues are a major reason behind 90% of divorce. So if you want to take your relationship one step ahead, then it’s necessary to talk about money issues, and see where both of you stand financially. Sharing the same financial goals or respecting each other’s financial views is important for maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner. Otherwise, small financial issues will become big with time and lead to ugly fights later.

Thinking about how to talk about money with your partner? Don’t worry. Here are a few tips you can use to talk about money-related issues.

1. Find the right time to initiate a conversation


Don’t rush into talking about financial matters with your partner if you feel that the right time has not arrived yet. Every relationship grows at its natural pace, and you have to wait patiently until the right time arrives. Now the question is, how do you know when it’s the right time? Well, spend a few months with your partner and notice his/her approach toward money. Does she/he spend a lot more than his/her income? Does he/she lead a lavish life on credit cards? Does he/she talk about credit card debt in front of you?

If the answer is ‘yes’, then you can bring up the subject when he/she tries to pay bills with credit cards. You can calmly inform him/her that enjoying a lavish life on credit cards is not good. It leads to debt. If he/she is not careful, he/she may have to negotiate credit card settlement soon. Observe his/her reaction to your statement. If he/she takes your statement positively, then you can dig deep into his/her financial life.

2. Share your financial feelings with each other


Sharing is caring. When you’re in a committed relationship, you should vent out your feelings on financial matters. You need to share your past experiences (both good and bad) and future financial goals. Talk about your parents’ approach toward money and how you like to deal with it. If you love to save money, inform your partner about it. If you love to spend money, then talk about it because these issues will come up when both of you start living together.

3. Explain your point of view and listen to his/her opinion


Honestly speak about how you feel about money. If you’re fiercely independent in nature, then obviously you must have a problem in being taken care of financially. In that case, put forward your thought politely to your partner. If you’re extremely rich, then you may have reservations about your partner’s spending behavior. You may not like to have anyone in your life who has an eye on your properties rather than on you.

After you have expressed your point of view, ask your partner to share his/her point of view. See if both of you can accept each other’s standpoint. If both of you can accept and respect each other’s opinion, then you can think about your relationship seriously.

4. Speak how you want to manage financial matters


If both of you are ready to walk down the aisle, then there are a few things you need to talk about beforehand. For instance, how do you want to manage your finances after getting married? Do you want to merge your finances or do you want to keep your bank accounts separate? If you don’t intend to maintain joint bank accounts, then be clear about it right now. It will help you to avoid miscommunications in the future.

Tell your partner that he/she has to manage his/her own money. All the financial accounts will be separate including credit cards. That will help to maintain separate credit history.

No one knows what will happen in the future. If you decide to file a divorce or your partner dies early, then it will create unnecessary financial problems if you don’t have a credit history. It will be hard for you to qualify for a home loan or a credit card. Maintaining joint credit cards with both of your names is not a wise financial decision. Explain this hard fact to your partner before getting married.

Conclusion


The idea of revealing your financial life to your spouse can be a bit embarrassing. You may feel that your money matters are your business only. Your partner has nothing to be bothered about them. But the practical life is something different. When you get into a long-term commitment with somebody, you’re connecting that person to your life. So it’s essential that you put everything on the table.

Author Bio: Stacy B Miller is a writer, blogger and a content marketing enthusiast. Her blog vents out her opinions on debt, money and financial issues. Her articles have been published in various top-notch websites and she plans to write many more for her readers. You can connect with her in Facebook and Twitter.

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