The Double Standard in Parenting

The reasons I stay home
Do you ever just have a moment when you realize it kind of sucks to be a mom nowadays? Because it's kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't type of situation. I mean everyone has a theory on what you should be doing, whether you should be working or be a stay at home mom. But either way it's a catch 22, cause they will still say you are doing it wrong. 

AJ being Woody
But dads on the other hand ... well they have it completely different. Dads get a round of applause and a clap on the back for just being there, even if it's only for visitations. Don't get me wrong, they are treated mostly as baby-sitters, as my hubby is by the StepPrincess' mom. For dads though it's work or stay home, either way you're doing a great job.

Ariel eating Olivia, the other white meat
But I mean think about it, really think about it.

A typical dad day is going to work, coming home, changing a diaper, passing out to sleep, complaining about not getting enough sleep, and repeat.

Meanwhile a stay at home mom's day is get up at the crack of dawn after waking up to feed the baby, change diapers, chase down the older kid, while feeding the baby, make breakfast, down some coffee, wrestle kids into clothes, make sure they do more than watch tv all day, make lunch, manage to get kid to eat lunch, nap times, dinner, bath time, and then getting the kids to sleep, and repeat. At some point throwing in a shower and dressing yourself, or passing out before bothering.

Or as a working mom (since I did do both) you wake up at the crack of dawn after waking up to feed the baby, make breakfast, down coffee, rush to the baby-sitters, rush to work, work your butt off while missing your baby like crazy, getting through rush hour to get to the baby-sitters, getting home, making dinner, trying to spend some quality time together, bath time, then bed time, and repeat. 

Either way you look at it moms do more, usually. And either way they do it, they get told they are doing it wrong. Adding in that they are most likely thinking they are doing it wrong to begin with. If your staying home, most people consider you to be lazy. If you go to work, people think you don't spend any time with your kid, and usually that you have no clue on how to parent them.

I'm tired. Anyone have some coffee for me?






2 comments

  1. Yes the double standard exists.

    My husband has been a stay at home dad since our son was born and also involved in a group of other sahd's. That this double standard exists infuriates them because the other side of the coin is society has no faith or expectations for father's to really care for their children. So its shocked when they do anything that a mom is expected to do. The men I know feel that their efforts are always belittled especially when they are just thought to be babysitting.

    Society really needs to wake up and realize that each gender can parent equally and should each have the same expectations. A great dad is more then one that does their visitations and recognize how much extra work moms statistically do over dads.

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  2. I know that's why I don't go by the normal "gender roles". This was more pointed at a few of hubby's "friends".

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