Getting to Know my inner Darkness...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Beginning of My Inner Darkness


No it's not the dark side, black magic, or any of the such. It's my inner Darkness. The reason I am, who I am, all the things in my past that have brought me here today.

Childhood 


My mother was a teen mom, she was 14 when she got pregnant with me, 15 when I was born. My father's family when told she was pregnant, said it's your problem and slammed the door in my papa's face. So I grew up with a young mother, who was some times I think, too overwhelmed or forgot her place. We have a great relationship now, but we did have a bumpy one growing up. She was quick to say that other kids got it worse than me, and she was right. But still having your mom slap you or having bruises on your arms from the wooden spoon, weren't the best of things growing up. For the longest time all I could remember was she would say she loved me after smacking me and then running downstairs to cry. But she's my mom and I love her, of course all battered children say that.

My father I didn't know till I was 15. His parents tried to say that they had stayed away cause my mom didn't want them around, she had already told me about 2 years beforehand that she had never kept them away, I mean we lived in the same house she grew up in. I believe it's from my uncle getting off a bus and beating my father up then getting back on. They were friends. I see my father on my birthday and Christmas, and now I see him on my son's birthday. Still not sure whether it's better to know him or not too.

to be continued 

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